I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
