What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
