Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
