Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
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