i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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