the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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