So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
