I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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