this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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