New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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