Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Randomize
