he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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