your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I can't turn off my feet"
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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