Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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