...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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