there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
