My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
