I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
