Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
