the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
