That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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