The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
