I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
