God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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