you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
