Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
