i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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