Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
