i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
