Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
he just fucked me for my cheese.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
