Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize