There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
