I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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