I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
