but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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