The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
