can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
