ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
