hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
