I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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