yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
