never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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