If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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