I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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