how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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