awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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