i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
