More tranny stories later!
Pappa wants mamma naked
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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