she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
be right there i have to get my cape
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
And then he peed in my hair
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