I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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