As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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