she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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