did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
