We're facebook friends in real life
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
