Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
