she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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