Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
