Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
