Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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